Things to Take the Edge Off​: No, It’s Not​ What You’re Thinking

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Great joke, matcha!

This year has been one of the most difficult, but growth-filled of my life. For reference, this is supposed to be my “golden year”, filled with glory and triumph. Eighteen on the eighteenth. For others who haven’t had their golden year yet, you might want to trash the whole idea. Just a thought. I’m not bitter or anything like that, where’d you get that notion? Maybe it’s my fault for having my golden year also happen to be the age where poor children everywhere become a victim of adulthood. Now that I’m legal I would like to start a petition to make the age of adulthood 21, sign below. If I can’t be trusted to hold my liquor responsibly, how in the hell am I supposed to pay my taxes, or *gasp* dare I say, support myself??? Horrific. Anyways, just a thought. Since I’m so surprised that I made it this far, I thought about some possible reasons for why.

This video is literally what keeps me going, I have to watch it at least once a day. It’s basically a prescription drug at this point. Please watch, you will NOT be disappointed:

Coffee: Through serious thought and about a month of straight meditation without food or drink (not by choice), I have become enlightened. When I came out of my state of comatose, I realized I had only learned one thing: The meaning of life is coffee. Basically, if you don’t drink coffee, It’s not looking too good for you. Getting away from campus and going to one of my favorite coffee shops, French Press or Caje is the single most reason I haven’t dropped out of school and joined a gang. A simple sip of an iced vanilla latte changes my aura from a foul black to a brilliant, purified white. Though it regularly gives me total anxiety, the repercussions are worth it.

My favorite cappuccino via French Press ❤

Amazon: If I didn’t allow myself to buy one thing a month from Amazon, I’m over 100% positive that I would have been admitted to a high-security psych ward long ago. I’m obsessed with skincare, so usually, I spend my days browsing through a never-ending array of French skincare I otherwise wouldn’t have had access to. I try not to think of the price markups though, would definitely send me spiraling. Might I suggest Bioderma Micellar Water or Embryolisse Concentrated Cream. I have seriously never worked with a makeup artist on set that didn’t have these in their kit, they’re totally amazing. 12/10 rating from yours, truly. Even if you have the most sensitive baby skin that’s allergic to the thought of change, these will still work for you.

Meditation: I’ve touched base on this before, but this helps clear my mind and get me out of a negative mood every single time. Hasn’t failed once. I’m not going to pretend like I meditate every single day, because as much as I wish I did, I don’t. I try really hard to but to be honest, sometimes it still feels like a chore even though it completely changes my day for the better. I’ve been LOVING Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s 21-day Abundance Meditation Challenge. I really admire both of them, and I find Deepak’s voice to be incredibly soothing. It’s also helped to keep me accountable because I feel obligated to finish the challenge all the way through without stopping and picking up again the next day. I think this may be because I’m SO competitive and I can’t help but think that when I finish the 21st day I’ll open my eyes and be sitting in my mansion. Wishful thinking you say? That’s right! Just what I’m supposed to be doing, try again next time sweetie!

Yoga: This one has a backstory so take the tissues out, it’s a real tear-jerker. In one of my previous posts, I mentioned yoga, and that I was going to CorePower. While I’m still a huge fan, your girl DOES NOT have the coins for that!!! After my first month that was already super expensive even with my student discount, I couldn’t justify spending my nonexistent coinz on another month. It was going to be around $180 bucks and I was like,”Oh sweetie, what a hilarious joke!” when I was told the price. Though it was a tragic realization, my rational side (that doesn’t come out often) eventually won me over resulting in CorePower and I’s breakup. Sadly, I couldn’t say “It’s me, not you” because it was you, CorePower. It really was. Things just weren’t working anymore, and I’m sorry, I had to do what’s best for me. Also, in the time that I was practicing yoga, I think I totally injured my back and pulled a muscle. It could be sleeping on the rock that is my dorm bed for a year, but I guess we’ll never know. Anyways, now that we’ve bonded over my breakup, I’ll tell you what I’m doing now. 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene on youtube! Girl, you ain’t even gotta leave your own house anymore! Wow, I love technology. Adriene is incredible and It’s been so nice to pull up one of her videos at the end of the day and go through the motions. Even better, no one is pressuring you to go farther than you want! Just listen to your body. But warning, when I listen to my body it says things like, “You don’t exercise enough! Damn bitch, why don’t you ever feed me some fruit? Would it kill you to buy some vegetables?”

Journal Writing: When you’re as desperate as I am, you bet your bottom dollar I’m going to try anything I can to manifest abundance into my life. Three words: The Law of Attraction, boys. I genuinely hate writing in a diary, so this is not that for me. A book of things I wouldn’t even tell my friends (which honestly nothing ever happens that’s worth hiding lmao), sounds like trouble to me. My diary would be too boring anyways. “Dear diary, today I went to class and nothing happened. After that, I came home and ate a waffle for the millionth time, was out of jam so the only thing I had to put on it was my own tears. Salty. I should really clean up, also I’m out of paper towels. Going to sleep early tonight, too bored to keep my eyes open. Talk tomorrow, xoxo!” What I actually do is write down all the things I want, but write about them like they already happened. For example, “I’m so happy I always have more money coming in than going out”, or “I had the most incredible time on set with..”, *insert dream photographer here.* At first, I feel really dumb, but by the end of it I can’t help but be excited about the possibility of a realty like that.

I hope everyone reading either finds or has already found things that make them happy and help them get through their week. The best is yet to come.

Keep it real,


Jewelry: Yes I Have a Problem, No I Won’t ​ Get Help

Jewelry is what keeps me going. I would put my need for bedazzlement second to, maybe oxygen. Not to be dramatic but when I forget to put on my favorite necklace, the heart tremors begin immediately. It may come as a shock to you based on my previous statements, but I once despised these magical body sprinkles. Yes, it’s true. My mom has always been into jewelry and has always tried to get me into it. Maybe because of this, I decided that jewelry was whack just because I wanted to stick it to the man. It’s only recently that I’ve gradually come to my senses. Pushing puberty aside, I realized I’ve been a damn fool. A damn fool! So many years wasted, I’ll refer to them as the Dark Ages. Also, I’m 100% turning into my mom. Like it’s crazy. Everything that I used to be like “Ew I hate that”, is now like, “Holy frick Mom, that’s so tight, can I borrow that (steal forever and claim as my own?)”  So I guess I’m a dirty poser! So be it, judge me all you want.

Wow, I love gold. It’s my metal of choice. So shine, so glow, so sparkle. I swear I must have been a gold miner in a past life and things must have not worked out for me then, so I’m making up for it now. Eureka! That’s what I say every time I buy or receive something gold. People are starting to get scared though, I mean fine, if my prospector outfit scares you I guess I’ll go. But it was either this or my Goldmember tracksuit. Your choice.

For reference, these are both pictures of me. Sorry, I forgot to shave in the first one :/


Without further ado, here are some of my favorites!


Alighieri Leone Medallion

Oh man. I love this bad boy. I’m wearing it while I’m writing this, in case you doubted my pure and undying love. If you did, then jokes on you, you played yourself. At the time, I’d been searching for months to find the perfect every day, french girl-esque necklace that I could call my own. It had to be fabulous though, obviously. But also I’m poor so like… sweetie had to be under $250. I don’t know if you’ve happened to notice, but literally every enviable French girl has a circular, golden necklace. Is this a cool girl cult of some sort? If so, where do I apply? Yes, I know I’m underqualified, please let me live my life thanks. I’m a Leo, so the fact that this has a beautiful lion on the front really sold me. Though this necklace never flips, the back is beautiful as well so if in the event that an asteroid zooms by and a huge blast of wind flips your necklace around, there’s no need to panic. Pat down your hair and carry on because the back is equally as lovely as the front. I said lovely, was I just possed by the Queen? Damn, I wished she stayed longer, I think I’m back to normal. If you’re a high roller (lucky you, can’t relate), Alighieri offers this in solid gold, but you already know mines just plated and guess what I love it just the same! Overall, if girlfriend had the coins, I’d be spending mad dough over on their website because I love everything.

Gold Lion Charm

My little baby lion! What a cutie!! This was generously given to me by wonderful auntie Evita. Shout out, Evita! This was a major sacrifice because not only does she love gold, but she’s also a Leo. Best sign tbh, anyone willing to fight me on this can meet me at the playground around 4. I love to pair this with its big lion brother above. She got this at the Santa Cruz Antique Fair from “the charm lady.” Pretty sure that’s her legal name. I ripped the chain off of another necklace of mine that was being a major disappointment. It needed a rebirth, and for once I don’t regret one of my excitement-fuelled irrational outbursts. Since I doubt anyone will seek out the charm lady, I’ve linked a similar one above. That boi is only $3.50, get on dat!

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Moon and Star Necklace

Ah, my moon necklace. The only thing that eased the horrors of senior night. If you have a senior night, I would advise you to run, but like, if you have friends and like staying up for 24 hours straight then I guess go, this sounds like a great opportunity for you. I got this as a gift from my Mom and Dad. My Momma knows what’s up, let’s be real. She got this from Marshalls and let me tell you, do not, I repeat, DO NOT sleep on their gold section. Nine times out of ten, it be poppin. This was a special time in my life, and I wore this when I graduated high school. Little did I know I was about to be royally finessed the second I moved into my dorm, LMAO. (The one I linked above isn’t exact, but it’s pretty close)

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Silver and Gold Necklace

My silver and gold necklace! Everyone loves a good fusion, I know I do lol! This is awesome when I feel like wearing both silver and gold, not to mention it goes with my lion medallion perfectly. Got this sweetie as a gift from my fab auntie Mary Ann, love it! Such a great surprise and I’ve already gotten so many compliments on it. (Had a really difficult time finding something similar, but there are plenty of great options on Etsy)

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Gold Chains

MY GOLD CHAINZZZZ! It’s best to be prepared to start a rap career at any time. I put my name into a rap generator the other night (haven’t you?), and my rap name is “DEE JAY SV SQUEEZE”. And I mean obviously, I was not disappointed in the slightest bit. You too can generate your rap name just in case someone asks the next time you’ve got your chains on. It happens to me often, so I had to get hip. These guys are super delicate, so I have to treat them with respect. One time I said “damn necklace” and one of them broke. So proceed with caution. My Momma also got these for me. Honestly, I get pretty much everything from my Momma, and from Marshall’s yo. (Also not the same exact chains linked, but I tried.)
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Gold Heart Necklace

Last but bish these babies aren’t least, my gold heart necklaces! One is a locket that I just got this past weekend from an estate sale! I was so excited, and it hangs in the perfect place. Couldn’t wait to get home and polish it up. BTW, I think polishing jewelry is just as effective as meditation, somebody should get on that. Also, there’s a cute little old couple in there and I feel really bad about taking them out, but I really want to put a picture of my dog that recently passed in there. Lol, did you think I was going to put a picture of my boyfriend in there? Ha, don’t have one of those!! The second is an incredible gift my Momma gave me (surprise) when I got dropped off at college. It was the first gift my Dad ever gave my Mom, and it means so much to me. AND THAT BABY GOT A DIAMOND INSIDE!! Sorry 4 flexin!!

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Gold Wave Ring

I got my golden wave ring from a shop during my summer trip in Kauai. This was a “treat yo self” moment and I don’t regret it one bit. I’ve had this ring on my finger since last June and it’s become apart of me. I’ve got the tan line to prove it. I was doing a job for Carolina Herrera and I had forgotten to take it off. The woman that was sent out to represent Carolina Herrera came up to me, and I started screaming internally “YOU DUMMY, you’re about to get flamed for not taking that ring off! You’re blacklisted, done for”, but then she walked over to me and said, “Oh my god, I have the exact same ring, look! Leave it on!” So basically we have matching rings. No big deal. Speaking of matching, my mom also loved it so much that I bought her her own and we wear them as mother-daughter BFF rings. Every time I look at it, I think of her. (The one linked above is pretty damn close to mine!)

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Nova RingGold Octagon Coin Ring

Love these Missoma rings. Obsessed with all of their stuff. The Lucy Williams collection is insane, we love a multi-talented queen! So fab and easy for layering. More is more, that’s what the hoarder inside always says!

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Super Extra Gold Ring

This is my “Philanthropy Woman” ring. If you ever feel the urge to flex on all your haters, then pop this status symbol right on yo finger of choice. The only problem is the diamond on mine is most definitely not real, but no one needs to know that. Keep it on the DL guys, let me live my gaudy grandmother lifestyle in peace. (Not even close to the same ring, but general idea-ish. Got mine from an antique store)

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Badass Ring

My badass ring. Momma got this for me after surviving one too many Greyhound Bus emergencies. Sometimes you just have to do what you got to do to get home. Would SERIOUSLY not suggest. If you live through someone overdosing on top of you, or your driver almost yeeting your whole bus off of a cliff, then you too should get a badass ring. I think you deserve it. (This is not the same ring, but again, I tried)

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Gold Filled Coin Ring

Do you like Roman coins? Are you extra as hell? Then you too would love this ring! Roman coin, check! Gold? Extra check!

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Gold Hoop Earrings

Ah, nothing beats a classic pair of gold hoops. I found these at the thrift store and they’re 14k solid gold! Guess how much I paid… $3 buckeroos!! I really cried some happy tears when I busted out ye old magnifying glass when I got home and read the stamp inside. Good freakin times. Please mention this great moment at my funeral, really deserves to make it on the highlight reel.

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Free People Earring Pack

Everyone loves a fun pack, and my set of Free People earrings really hit the spot. I love to mix and match my earrings, and this pack is specifically geared toward that mentality. And ya that’s right, I haven’t lost all of them like you said I would. I’m talking to you Mom! (Not the same pack linked, but tbh I wish I had these more lmao, also the photo is not mine, but it’s the exact same pack I have. Mine no longer look that pretty haha)


Hand Symbol Earrings

These have to be my favorite pair of earrings. I mean peace and the perfect symbol?! Say no more, I’m sold. Got these as a gift from Madewell, the land of dreams. That place is just too good. I’ll take five of everything, please. (Not the same linked, but similar. Not sure if they make these anymore)

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I have so much more jewelry that I love and adore, but these are the pieces I find myself wearing multiple times a week. I’m on a gold kick, what can I say. If anyone’s interested in a post on silver jewelry, let me know. Highly doubt anyone will be though, just like they’re probably not interested in this post. I get that, respect.


Keep it real,


Skincare- The Road to Radiance​…or Rage

Ah, skincare. The shimmering beam of hope I always turn to in times of darkness, aka whenever an unwelcome skin demon appears on my face. Lately, my skin’s actually been a pretty cool gal, but it hasn’t always been that way. Although I have sat her down a few times and sternly said, “Hey you! Ya, that’s right I’m talking to you. Calm down B, who hurt you?”, She honestly still didn’t listen. Because of this foul, unreasonable behavior, I went on the hunt for products that really work for me, and hopefully you too! Sweetie, I’ve been through it all and wow, there are so many products that steal your money and faith in humanity! Over a long period of trial and error with dermatologists and about every single acne product on the shelf, I’ve discovered that my skin is ridiculously sensitive (let’s just say I figured out I was allergic to benzoyl peroxide with a hideous chemical burn earning me the nickname tomato Trudy… *cries*) Anyways, I finally got things on lockdown and am (finally) seeing results.

Here’s the lineup: (Morning Routine; boy do I hate the A.M, smh)

*Everyone Face Cleanser

This cleanser is simply amazing for sensitive acne-prone skin. It smells amazing, and really helps to wake me up in the morning, and might I add that that is extremely hard to do lol. When I first purchased this I was worried that the scent would irritate my skin, but I’m happy to announce that it didn’t. I find this to be non-drying, thank God because I was so used to washing my face and feeling like my skin was going to crack off. Thus I said “See ya later sweetheart”, to all the harsh products that made my skin send out e-vites to its own funeral.

*Everyone Face Toner

A true gem right here folks, this toner is like spraying angel breath on your face, which I can assure you is quite pleasant and not uncomfortably moist at all. Before I started using this toner, I was using one that had to be poured onto a cotton pad, and between that and removing my makeup at night, cotton pads were few and far in-between. That I just couldn’t have, because the distance between my dorm and a drugstore is about the distance between earth and a planet we haven’t even discovered yet. This leaves my skin hydrated, soft and calm! Not only that, but it only takes a few seconds to sink into your skin.

*Radha Beauty Vitamin C Serum for Face

Honestly, I was so against vitamin C for the longest time. I admit I was bitter. I tried a variety of highly rated vitamin c serums and time after time ended up disappointed. They always left a weird sheen on my face, broke me out and never really yielded any visible results. I decided to take the plunge back into vitamin c now that my skin is relatively acne free, and my main concern are the scars left over. I was shocked when I woke up the morning after I tried this out and saw immediate results. I use this every day and night, and within a week or two it has already completely changed my skin for the better and leaves no sheen, is non-irritating and smells like heaven on earth.

*Seriously Shine Free Moisturizer

When I moved to southern California, my skin was certainly not used to the heat, and nasty oil production was the result. I was on the hunt for a matte moisturizer for the daytime and eventually came across this one. I was worried it was going to clog my pores, but it actually cleans them out! This moisturizer has salicylic acid in it and it helps to keep acne at bay while you go through the day. When I was reading reviews on it, a lot of people mentioned that it has a pretty horrific scent, so I was pretty sketched out but still took a leap of faith and thankfully there’s no offensive scent at all. But hey like Febreze says, maybe I’m just nose-blind. But I have 20/20 vision and not to brag, but I think my nose does too.

*La Roche-Posay Anthelios 60 Ultra Light Sunscreen

Hate to say it, but I was sooo late to the sunscreen bandwagon. I always felt like it broke me out and left a white cast on my skin. The SoCal sun is basically the devil, and I’m so fair that I practically wake up with a sunburn because the sun burns so bright through my windows. After a lot of tragic life lessons, (one word, Hawaii), I finally realized the importance of sunscreen, and if you don’t already I hope you do soon. Also, the use of vitamin c makes your skin even more susceptible to burns, so SPF is essential to survival. This sunscreen is very thin, leaves no cast and doesn’t irritate my skin.

The Lineup part 2: (Night Routine, lazy and over it)

*Alba Face and Body Scrub

Now see here, scrubs are not usually my friend. If I haven’t said it 9891992 times, here it is again. MY SKIN IS SO SENSITIVE IT LITERALLY GETS OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING. This scrub manages to exfoliate without making my face flaming red and it really keeps my skin clear. The last time I got a facial, the facialist said that I don’t have acne, but rather when I get a breakout it’s because I have excess dead skin sitting around on my face and it eventually clogs my pores, so exfoliating is pretty important for me.

*Toner part 2, same one I mentioned in my morning routine

*Vitamin C serum, same as morning routine


Ok, out of everything I’ve mentioned so far this product is hands down the biggest game changer. After going to the best dermatologist in my area and having her not even look at my face and immediately trying to put me on an oral acne pill, girlfriend was over it. I’ve never really had acne aggressive enough to be put on any type of pill, and not only that I didn’t want to hurt my body, your body is your temple! Though I personally wouldn’t take any oral acne medication, I totally understand and respect why a lot of people choose to because, after a certain point, enough is enough! I tried retinol creams but nothing has ever worked as well as this miracle in a bottle. I sent in three pictures of my skin and listed my concerns and what I wanted to get out of the product and sent it out for a Curology derm to review. After I received my free trial and saw insane results in only two weeks, I was hooked and have been using it for three months now.

This moisturizer is super basic and very hydrating. It sinks right into the skin and helps to balance your skin tone and brighten up dark marks. It has a really lovely scent and it puts me in a good mood when I slap it on before I hit the hay. Also, with all of the Everyone Skin Care line you get SO MUCH product and it’s so inexpensive with amazing ingredients. I use the smallest amount of this stuff and it will probably last long enough to be able to leave it to someone in my will, I wonder who the lucky recipient will be.
WE FINALLY MADE IT TO THE END! Is anyone still here cause I’m not, typing with my eyes closed rn…..
These are my spot treatments. I look pretty hideous at night and lost all shits to give about it long ago. If someone knocks on my dorm door at night, I have no problem opening the door wide open, spots and all. It is what it is baby, I scare myself too so we’re even. My Grandpa used to call me the spotted owl, so ya I have a pretty sweet street name, srry 4 flexin. I use the Sudocrem for dark marks and the drying lotion for active pimples. I’ve gone through so many bottles of the Mario Badescu drying lotion, I can actually hear my wallet crying at the mention of it right now. Simply tragic, but got to say it really does the job. I like to think of my spots as sprinkles, everyone loves sprinkles…lmao.
Thank God, I’m done. If you read this whole thing I seriously applaud you, I think I blacked out at one point. If you have any recommendations please let me know because the hunt never ends. Also, this is 100% not sponsored obviously and the only one reading this is probably my mom hahaha so ya. I just really like things and when I talk about them, I eventually start sounding like an Avon rep.
Keep it real,