Setting the Reset Button 2018: Goals and Things to Keep in Mind (or not)

As I’ve progressed throughout the start of the new year, I can say for the first time in my young adult life (which has only really been 6 months since I just turned 18 lmao), that I’ve actually managed to stick to a few “things to keep in mind” I’ve set out for myself. Resolutions scare me, sadly I’m not yet advanced enough to handle that horrific word that triggers my commitment issues lol. One of the things I wanted to frequent more regularly was in fact, this blog. I know what your thinking, you don’t need to tell me because shame has already been stamped across my forehead. To my few fans out there, (99.5% my family, the other 0.5% me when I’m feeling self-confident) I’m sorry to have left you hanging. I know my indispensable knowledge is hard to live without (jk). Now that I’ve sufficiently roasted myself for slacking off, I will proceed with this blog post and take this moment to mention that I’m looking to hire a drill sergeant to kick my ass in shape, applications will be accepted below.

Here is the list I started off the New Year with. Now that it’s actually the very last day of January, I have a pretty accurate sense of what I managed to follow through with, and what I haven’t.

  1. Start exercising more ya damn lard
  2. Get organized, get a life planner (get a life, namely)
  3. Healthy eating, drink lemon water, and apple cider vinegar
  4. DRINK MORE WATER, you’re probably dying
  5. One word: YOGA. Home girl can’t even touch her knees  (my doctor says it’s not my fault, shout out Dr. Chan. Love you sweetie!)
  6. Meditate more, conscious thinking
  7. Remember that I have goals
  8. Emerge into a healthy, glowing goddess within days ( I’m impatient)
  9. BLOG even though I have nothing interesting to say

Exercise: So, exercise kills my soul. I don’t get that elusive “high” from exercising. In fact, I’m quite certain that It doesn’t exist, and is just heavily circulated propaganda thanks to the Soul Cycle community. Regardless, I realize that the time is now, and with all these damn college kids prancing around me embodying health and practically spewing kale juice from their pores, it’s time to take action. I began taking yoga classes at the start of this month and I’ve never felt better. That’s not to say I’m screaming “feel the burn” with a crazy smile on my face while I hold downward dog for more than .2 seconds, but cumulatively my body has begun to wake up after 18 years of being dormant. Though I am fully the most pitiful yoga student this studio has ever taken on, I feel confident around my fellow yogis who can fully levitate off the ground while I struggle to stand on one leg. I tried yoga once before but was turned off by the instructors I had at a different studio who seemed more like assassins than gurus. Needless to say, when I was pushed into the splits and heard my muscles holding a State of the Union Address, I decided to call it quits. Now at Corepower Yoga, my instructors realize I’m not capable of doing things most everyone can do, and don’t push me past my limits. I really appreciate that, and so do my muscles, (they haven’t had to hold an emergency meeting since).

Health: Eating healthier has been a lot easier than I expected. Since my meals are limited to overpriced protein bars and sweet potatoes, one doesn’t have even the opportunity to slip up. As I’m in college, the dining commons manage to continually wreak havoc on my mind, body, and soul. Not only is it a primeval watering hole for angsty hormonal youth to scrutinize each other for their viewing pleasure (dinner and a show!) It also serves up some of the worst food I’ve ever seen or tasted. This is coming from a human garbage disposal who has no problem consuming anything. Two words with more power to annihilate humans will to live: TACO. PIZZA. I rest my case. Because of these heart-wrenching pointers, my meals are limited to salad and either a baked potato or a sweet potato if I’m lucky. (Sweet potatoes are special, so they’re limited to only certain days). I hate salad and I also hate baked potatoes but in the words of a very successful woman i.e Doris Day, “Que sera sera, whatever we’ll be we’ll be.” I personally will be less than enthused. As I’m sure you’re all wondering, “Savannah have you been drinking more water?!?” The answer is yes, I certainly have. I have transitioned from having to pee every time I blink to having a bladder far more superior than that of a camel. Because of this I can now fly and see through walls. Who knew a large bladder was key to opening your third eye. And yes, I start my day with water mixed with apple cider vinegar and lemon juice. I have to say, this has made the biggest difference by far. I have way more energy and feel like I assume Gwyneth Paltrow does when she sees her bank account. Although I see my entire life flash before my eyes each time I have a sip due to its foul flavor, I now drink it so frequently that when I see my life flash before my eyes, I only see the good parts.

Spirituality and Mindfulness: I’ve definitely been meditating more than I have in the past, but not as much as I’d like to. Meditation makes such a difference in my well being that it makes me sad that I always come up with some kind of excuse to avoid it. Like, “oh sorry, I actually can’t right now, part of my brain that actually cares about me. I’m super busy with this whole breathing thing. I’ll definitely take a raincheck tho!” Thus, I am slapping myself into shape and vow to meditate once a day. The amount of time I meditate for doesn’t matter, as long as I lift off the ground and receive divine enlightenment from the universe, I’ll be satisfied. I watched “The Secret”, recently and have come to the realization that I am solely responsible for all the ass in my life and after a day of resent and denial, I came to my senses. As “The Secret” suggests, you attract what you put out, and therefore are a massive magnet of cosmic power. Since I’m essentially a genie now, I realize the power of my thoughts and yell “NO!” in my head when I think something negative. I am proud to report about 70% of my thoughts are positive in all aspects, and I genuinely feel that my life has improved because of it. Also, investing in a planner specifically for my life has been rewarding, namely because It came with stickers.

In conclusion, I’m moving closer towards who I hope to see myself as. Not exactly a glowing goddess yet, but my skin has started to glow more thanks to all the water. It could be oil actually, but the lab results haven’t come back yet. I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

Keep it real,

Savannah